“As far as I am concerned, (President Obama’s speech to students) is not civics education—it gives the appearance of creating a cult of personality. This is something you’d expect to see in North Korea or in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq.”
—Steve Russell, Republican state senator from Oklahoma
Okay. It’s been a month now since Obama (that unrepentant socialist and, apparently, heir to both Kim Jong Il and Saddam Hussein) gave his speech to the school children of America. And what, in the end, did we learn from it? Well I for one learned that it’s harder to make a tinfoil hat than I thought. Who knew? I mean, sure, just squishing tinfoil down on your head, that’s easy enough, but to make a really stylish hat, one that, say, a teenager will wear—well, that requires more skill than I possess. Obviously, given the disdain with which Clementine examined the hat I made her for the big Obama speech.
“What’s that supposed to be?” she asked me. “A swan?”
“No,” I replied. “It’s not for saving leftovers; it’s for saving your soul. It’s to stop you from being indoctrinated by Obama’s evil socialist plot during his school speech.”
“I’m not wearing that,” she said. “It’s stupid.” And then she left, leaving the usual trail of darkness in her wake.
I bet she’d wear it if it was black, I thought to myself, but then let the matter drop. After all—what was I worried about? There was no way Clementine would ever get involved with anything with the word “social” in it.
But what about all of those other children out there? Who was going to protect them from Obama’s evil socialist plot? And why socialism, anyway? I mean, you’re telling me that Obama has perfected a brainwashing method that will work on the youth of America, and the best he can come up with is socialism? What about clean-up-your-roomism, don’t-hit-your-little-brotherism, put-the-milk-awayism, and about a dozen other isms I can think of, just off the top of my head?
Supposedly, of course, there was no socialism involved at all: his speech just consisted of things like “stay in school,” and “study hard.” Really? Talk about a wasted opportunity. “Stay in school?” What about “stay out of Mom’s purse?”
Actually though, the real wasted opportunity lay in the fact that, after all of the Conservative parents pulled their kids out of the classroom, Obama didn’t take the time to check behind his back, look straight into the camera, and then whisper, “Okay, so now that they’re gone, here’s the deal: while I’m busy keeping all of these people distracted with my ‘socialist agendas,’ you kids do an end run around them. Stay in school. Get an education. Vote. Before they know it, you’ll be in charge—of everything. Now remember, when those other kids come back to class, don’t say anything about our little talk. Mum’s the word. Okay, here they come—look bored.”
Actually, I guess that’s kind of what he did. Hopefully, even if only ten percent of the kids who stayed and listened to his speech took it to heart, that will mean that ten percent more of them will stay in school, work hard, and become educated. And to become educated is to become a voter—it just goes without saying. Think about all of the people you’ve ever heard saying “What’s the point of voting, anyway?” Didn’t it also seem likely that the next thing you heard out of their mouths was “Would you like fries with that?”
Hmm. Maybe those disposable folded paper hats work even better than the tinfoil ones do.