Monthly Archives: January 2020

If there is any aphorism that perfectly sums up the era in which we live, it would have to be: “Never read the comments.” And yet, in the same way that your tongue keeps going back to poke at a sore tooth, this is exactly what I did recently when I was reading a story about the suspended (and almost immediately reinstated) journalist Felicia Sonmez.

Sonmez was suspended for tweeting a link to a story about the 2003 rape allegations against Kobe Bryant. As a sexual assault survivor herself, this take on the very recent death of Kobe Bryant was entirely relevant to Sanchez. It was also something she had every right to do, both as a survivor, and as a journalist.

Although you would never know that by reading the comments.

According to the comments (and many main stories as well), bringing up what was arguably the darkest moment of Bryant’s life at the time of his death was inappropriate. Which, frankly, is just bizarre.

No matter what your feelings on Kobe Bryant are, or were, no one can argue that the 2003 incident was a pivotal moment for him. In the “story” of his life it was a major plot point, one that I would like to believe left him a changed man: after all, he did apologize to his victim (sort of), and he was never accused again. Additionally, I would like to believe that as he got older, and, more importantly, as his own daughters neared the age of his victim (his oldest daughter is now 17, his victim was 19 at the time), his partial apology would have one day evolved into a full one, and that as he continued his work advocating for young women in sports, his growing awareness of the unique challenges they faced would have led him to a place of greater self-reflection.

In other words, I’d like to believe that his redemption arc would have one day been complete.

We talk about life-changing mistakes all the time when we talk about the deceased. We mention the DUI that turned the inspirational speaker away from drinking. We talk about the brilliant student who only really learned to focus after they were kicked out of their first choice school. We talk about the absentee parent who rearranged their priorities only after a family tragedy. When we give eulogies, talking about a person’s “second act” isn’t only acceptable, it’s a staple.

Unless, it seems, that first act involved sexual assault. In which case, the rule seems to be “not only do we not speak of this, it actually never happened at all.”

Even though studies have shown that the number of false rape reports occur at the same rate as the number of other false felony reports (such as arson and murder), the overwhelming response from Kobe Bryant’s grieving public has been to once again deny that an assault ever occurred. This despite the fact that there was physical evidence of both intercourse and trauma, as well as the previously mentioned partial apology and a civil settlement. (Yes, she accepted money. Among other things, surviving trauma is incredibly expensive.)

This denial of the facts is not only incredibly hurtful to this particular victim, and to victims in general, but perhaps most importantly, to the memory of Kobe Bryant himself.

People are complicated. They are messy, and they are, up until the moment they die, works in progress. Celebrities, on the other hand, are apparently not—they are two dimensional caricatures who are either always good, or always evil.

If you really loved Kobe, and really want to honor his legacy, then you will allow him the dignity of dying as the former, and not the latter.

And you will allow all sexual assault victims the space to react to his death in a way that helps them complete their own hero’s journey —even in the comments sections.

“Do you people have any idea what you have done to the Arizona economy? When wages were at $8.50 an hour a pizza, wings and salad was $38.00 now its over $50.00. Guess what, no more pizza and no more restaurant.”–angry Facebook comment, Feb.7, 2019

Well, it’s another new year in Flagstaff, which means three things. One, it is now socially acceptable to say out loud what you have been thinking since October (“I don’t care about skiing: I’m sick of winter”). Two, Phoenicians are still apparently okay with letting their children play alongside a major roadway (you have to wonder if the same people who hop out of the car on the side of I-17 also stop halfway across the Golden Gate Bridge to let the kids “enjoy the view.”) And three, (for the last few years at least), you now have another new chance to get into a fight about the increased minimum wage on social media (and probably in person, as well).

Unlike those first two things, however, the fight about the minimum wage is by no means a local issue. In fact, with only 21 states still sticking to the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, your chances of getting into an argument over minimum wage are better than one in two. Yeah, you read that right: $7.25. The federal minimum wage has not budged an inch in over a decade. Unless of course you are a federal worker being paid in connection to a federal contract, and then the minimum wage is $10.80. This, I can only assume, is because, unlike certain congressional representatives, who are only good with things like tweeting poorly photo-shopped pictures of former President Obama, and, presumably, getting reelected, federal contract hiring managers are good when it comes to things like math, and therefore have figured out that you can’t actually get anyone to show up for a job interview if that job doesn’t pay enough to allow for the luxury of sleeping indoors.

Or, apparently, the luxury of sleeping at all. Because it’s hard to get a good night’s sleep when you’re consumed with worry about your finances. As 99% of us know all too well. But for that 1% that didn’t know, a recent study came out that confirmed just how devastating it is to live in poverty—and make no mistake about it, in a country where there is not one single community where $7.25 an hour will rent a one-bedroom apartment, $7.25 an hour is poverty.

A study by economists at UC-Berkeley showed that for every 10% increase in the minimum wage, the suicide rate of those holding a high school diploma or less decreased by 3.9%. Berkeley too liberal for you? The American Journal of Preventative Medicine published a report stating that a one dollar increase in minimum wage led to an overall decrease in suicides of 1.9%. Using those numbers, we can extrapolate that nearly 500 more people in the state of Arizona will still be alive ten years after voters approved raising Arizona’s minimum. The study also shows that increasing wages leads to lower rates of recidivism, and higher levels of debt repayment, so even if you aren’t one of the people directly affected by a lower suicide rate—even if you aren’t one of the people who gets to keep your father, or your sister, or your best friend, you still benefit from a community that has less crime and more money in circulation. You also benefit from living in a community that believes that all work has dignity, as do all workers. A community that still believes in the words of Franklin Roosevelt when he said, “It seems to me to be equally plain that no business which depends for existence on paying less than living wages to its workers has any right to continue in this country.”

In short, a community that actually is a community.

But hey: that’s a real shame about your pizza and wings.