Last month, self-avowed “conservative” Arizona Representative Walter Blackman (AZLD6) introduced House Bill 2650, a bill that would require both women and their doctors to be charged with homicide for receiving or providing the health care service commonly known as abortion. They would be charged with this crime regardless of any state, local or even national laws that expressly made this procedure legal.
Needless to say, I have questions. The first one being this: when are Barry Goldwater and John McCain going to come back from the dead long enough to kick this guy’s ass? Because here’s the thing: I’ve lived in Arizona long enough to remember when being a conservative actually meant having conservative values, instead of just being a convenient way to keep all of your voter deplorables in the same basket.
Being an Arizona conservative in the late 20th century meant making government as small as possible, in every way. The government didn’t ask you how many guns you had in your gun cabinet, but it also didn’t ask how many of your friends and neighbors you had in your bedroom. (This, unfortunately, also meant it didn’t ask how much food you had in your pantry.)
On the surface, Walt Blackman is exactly that type of conservative. On the issue of short-term vacation rentals, and the potential havoc they can cause in residential neighborhoods, he has said, “I am against state government being involved in matters such as these.” On the issue of water rights, an issue that has been vitally important to all Arizonans since before statehood, he has said “I am against private wells being metered.” On the issue of abortion, however, he has essentially said, “Hang ’em all.” Apparently, deciding who gets to stay in your house is government overreach, but deciding who gets to stay in your body is just fine.
I’d like to think that this is all an act: that deep down, underneath all of his malignant posturing, there is a man who recognizes how extreme his ideas are, and that while he may never by any stretch of the imagination ever be considered “pro choice,” is only putting forth laws such as these to rake in donations from people who spend the rest of their disposable income on things like buffalo horn headdresses and body paint.
That’s what I like to think, because, apparently, there is still one small spark of naivete left in my body.
The truth, unfortunately, is probably that even if this was once an act, it is now all too real. Blackman and all of his ilk have fallen for their own con: they have worn the tinfoil hat for so long they have started to believe it actually works. And in their defense, as far as donor magnets go, so far that seems to be true. And it will continue to be true until we stop allowing it.
Walt Blackman is my Representative, even though he in no way represents me and my beliefs. And I frequently call and email him to remind him of this, as do many of liberal friends. Arizona, however, is still a purple state,and what we need right now is for our conservative friends to do the same. We need to go back to a time when the difference between liberals and conservatives, between Democrats and Republicans, meant a difference in policy, not a difference in reality. To do that we are going to need to unite, at least temporarily, as the Sanity Party. (Yes, 75 million people voted for Donald Trump. No, 75 million people do not believe in Jewish Space Lasers.)
It’s time for the sane people of Arizona to come together. So round up your conservative friends and neighbors: call them up, or stand at the end of their driveway and talk to them on their porch, and remind them that this lunacy hurts their party just as much as it hurts ours. And then ask them to join you in once again making those calls and sending those emails. At least until the tinfoil hats come off again.
Contact Representative Blackman at his office, (602)-296-3043, or via email at wblackman@azleg.gov.